


We've Joined a Cult.

by Kivea



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Cults, Animal Death, Animal Sacrifice, Blood, Comedy, Cults, Emphasis on the comedy, Horror Comedy, Humor, M/M, Mild Gore, it's like, not overly shippy, written for those of us who want a good time but also want a lil bit of nasty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-24
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:33:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27688325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kivea/pseuds/Kivea
Summary: He didn’t realise how much he hated the sight of blood until he had witnessed his friend flicking blood off the end of his knife with all the dramatic flair he had come to associate with the boy. Maybe it was less the blood and just the whole...vibe that the place was giving off. Low lit with candles and haunting chants, strange symbols they would etch into the ground and then stand around.It was honestly the moment that he realised that yup, Stan was right. They’d definitely joined a cult.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski & Craig Tucker, Kyle Broflovski/Craig Tucker
Comments: 6
Kudos: 32





	We've Joined a Cult.

**Author's Note:**

> DON'T GET UR HOPES UP HORROR FANS I mostly just wanted to do something a lil different for practice (ie, writing description not just dialogue). It's still got my classic humour.

He didn’t realise how much he hated the sight of blood until he had witnessed his friend slit a bird open, flicking blood off the end of his knife with all the dramatic flair he had come to associate with the boy, and a couple of drops landing on Kyle’s cheek. Maybe it was less the blood and just the whole...vibe that the place was giving off. Low lit with candles and haunting chants, strange symbols they would etch into the ground and then stand around. 

“A gift, for you,” Cartman offered with a smile on his face as he raised the now very dead bird into the sky. “To fuel your ascension.” 

He watched as the two on duty that day took one wing each and pulled, tearing the bird in two before they took it up the steps to the top of the ice prison that held their leader and magician who had captured their hearts, and begin to squeeze the blood into the small crevice in the top. 

Warm blood would melt the top layer, causing the engraved symbol above the body that was held within the ice to etch that little bit deeper towards their ‘mighty magician’. 

“Now, my brothers and sisters,” Cartman held his arms wide open as he addressed the rest of them. “Join me in our spell, as instructed by our father, to cement his magic in place.” 

It was honestly the moment that he realised that yup, Stan was right. They’d definitely joined a cult. 

\--

“Hey.” 

Kyle looked up as someone sat down at the table opposite him, raising a brow at the blonde who was there, grin on his face promising nothing but trouble. 

“Heard it’s nearly your time to be picked for the ritual.” 

He grimaced and dropped his fork onto his tray, appetite quickly leaving him. “Don’t remind me, Kenny, I am not looking forward to it.” 

“It’ll be fine, dude. It’s just a bird!” 

“That doesn’t mean I want to go touching dead things. I’m not you, okay? With your weird totally-chill approach to death.” 

Kenny shrugged. “Dead things are dead. I touch meat. Just cause it’s still got feathers doesn’t make a difference.” 

“I might join Stan in being vegetarian.” 

“Have you heard from him?” 

Kyle raised a brow. 

“Stan?” 

“Cartman doesn’t let us contact people outside.” 

Kenny clicked his tongue disapprovingly, though there was a smile on his face that betrayed his sarcasm. “Now, now, brother Kyle, you know that’s not true. Just because he screens all the correspondence doesn’t mean he’s keeping us from people.” 

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Out of all the dumbass things we’ve ever been dragged into, this is up there.” 

“Yeah, you’re right. But hey, at least it’s fun, yeah?” 

“Sure. Fun. That’s what I’d call joining some weird creepy cult with Cartman, this is exactly how I planned to spend my summer – speaking of, did you notice he’s getting more popular?” 

Kenny shrugged. “I guess?” 

“It’s just – it's weird. He’s not the leader. He’s not even remotely close to being a leader, yet he’s suddenly been picked to be the spokesperson?” 

“By Father Jeramiah.” 

Kyle gave an unconvinced hum. “Really? Do you actually believe that?” 

“My brothers!” 

He snapped his head down, a flush settling round his neck as he heard Cartman’s voice break through their conversation. Kenny looked as laid back as ever, perfect poker face in place. Kyle wished he could be so natural. He wouldn’t get fucking caught that way. 

“Whatever is it you’re talking about?” 

“Nothing,” Kyle answered, too quickly. “Just...things.” 

Kenny let out a sympathetic sigh, lopsided smile as he gave Kyle this look of ‘well, I guess you tried’. 

Cartman was undisturbed by it. He had this serene smile on his face, his hands clasped together as he viewed the pair of them. “Of course, of course. You know, Kyle, you don’t have to be scared of me. If you have concerns, you can raise them. There is no punishment for questioning, all we ask is that you do so with an open mind. Do you have concerns, brother?” 

“No...” 

The serene smile widened a fraction. “I understand, you’re not ready to bring them to us yet. That’s fine. But we’re friends, Kyle, and I’ll be here whenever you feel ready to talk. Who knows? Maybe the ritual will help you feel closer to our cause.” 

The pair watched as their childhood friend drifted off to speak to a different table, moving like some kind of angelic prophet. 

Kyle picked up his fork again and grumbled as he started to eat the mush that he’d been served. 

“Smooth.” 

“Thanks,” he drawled. “It’s...whatever. I’ll do the damn ritual.” 

“You can always feign sick? Oh, brother Cartman, I couldn’t possibly ruin our sacred ritual by vomiting into the ice – the offense! The horror! It pains me to pass up on this chance, but alas, I must!” 

Kyle chuckled at the blonde’s dramatic demonstration. “Alas, I don’t know if I can pull it off quite as well as you can.” 

Kenny shrugged. “No one can pull it like I can, but that’s a different topic.” 

“You’re nasty.” 

Whether he liked it or not, eventually, he was going to have to take part in the stupid ritual. 

\--

There was someone else in the cult that Kyle had some kind of connection to. Not because they talked a lot, or because he knew them beforehand. He sort of did – they were from the same school, they just never really spoke. He’d been dragged into it by Cartman, just like Kyle had, and seemed about invested in it all as he did. 

Craig would stand next to him during the rituals, and the chants, and the sermons. They always stood next to each other, ever since the first day, somewhere near the back out the way, with Kenny on his left and Craig on his right. He felt a little more enclosed like that. 

Until Kenny started being summoned to be closer to the front so Cartman had someone ‘he trusted’ close by in case anything happened. Then it was just Kyle and Craig. 

They never actually...spoke. Honestly, he never really heard Craig’s voice, because Craig appeared to either be mute, deaf, or just completely unable to remember any of the chants. 

Maybe he picked to stand next to Kyle because of the redhead’s reputation for being particularly loud. 

“And now, my brothers and sisters,” Cartman addressed the room, smile on his face with his hands held out wide. “We have been unable to acquire our blessing for today. Instead, our dearest, dearest brother Butters has offered to take it’s place.” 

“Wha- I have?” Butters startled from his place next to Craig. 

“Yes, Butters, we talked about this, remember?” Cartman pressed, patience wearing a little thin. “You couldn’t find a bird, you had to be the one instead?” 

“Oh, oh gee, Eric, I dunno about-?” 

“You’re stalling the ceremony, Butters,” Cartman said through gritted teeth. 

“Well, alright then!” 

Kyle watched on in horror as Butters took a few steps forward, offering his hand out to Cartman who began his usual chant before he would brutally murder some poor pigeon. Except this time it was Butters’s hand he was about to slit into. 

The redhead flinched as the knife was brought down and ripped into Butters’s flesh, fleck of blood hitting Kyle’s robe as it always seemed to. 

How fucking far did Cartman need to flick his knife out too? 

But this was what Kyle really appreciated Craig for. He would flinch, curling in on himself, and... 

Craig would shift, weight going from the centre over to his left leg, arm bumping into Kyle’s, overlapping at the front. 

Okay so he didn’t know for sure that Craig was doing it for him, or if he just happened to do it every time, but Kyle liked to think it was a show of solidarity. A small check of ‘are you okay’. A way of putting some kind of distance between Kyle and the violence ahead of them. 

Butters headed up the stairs and moved his hand over to the ice, squeezing into a fist as the blood dropped down into the marking. 

Cartman lead the group in their little ‘spell’, and Kyle spoke as clearly and concisely as he could. 

As usual Craig stood next to him, mouth moving in such a subtle way that you couldn’t read his lips, with no noise coming out. 

\--

“Welcome to my office.” 

Kyle narrowed his eyes at Cartman. “Isn’t it...Father Jeremiah’s office?” 

“What?” Cartman gave a shrug and a laugh. “Oh, yes, it is, but while he’s gone, it’s mine, you know, in a round about way.” 

“Uhuh.” 

“But enough about that, take a seat, both of you.” 

Kyle held his breath as he sat down in one of the plush chairs, Craig next to him mimicking his actions. 

Was this...where Cartman decided they weren’t trying hard enough and killed them? 

Had he finally figured out that Craig wasn’t doing the chants, and that Kyle turned his eye whenever they brought their bastardised sacrifice forward? Overheard one too many conversations between Kyle and Kenny of the redhead complaining about the way Cartman ran things? 

“I have good news!” 

They were _so dead_. 

Cartman clapped his hands together, chest puffing out with joy. “You’ve both been picked to be our caretakers for the next ritual.” 

The total lack of enthusiasm was...evident. 

It caused the brunette to deflate a bit. “This is...where you both jump for joy.” 

“I’m taking it with grace,” Craig replied, voice dry and monotone. 

It was the first time Kyle heard him speak. 

It suited him perfectly. 

Cartman scoffed. “Well, _Craig_ , you might want to take it with a little less grace, if this is what passes for that in your emotionally stunted brain.” 

Craig raised his hands, wiggled them, then dropped them back down. 

“See, this is what I have to work with, Kyle,” Cartman shook his head as he sat down at _Father Jeremiah’s_ desk. “The total lack of commitment from some of our members!” 

“Ha, that’s, yeah,” Kyle grimaced and gestured at the man as he tried to figure out what the hell he was meant to say to that. 

Cartman wasn’t paying him any attention as he addressed the documents on his table. “You have two days to gather a blessing for the table, and bring it back here.” 

Kyle looked towards Craig, who looked a little concerned about the words as well. Clearly neither of them had been paying enough attention when the others who went before them talked about what being the caretakers entailed. 

“If...we don’t get the blessing,” Kyle started slowly. “Does one of us have to...?” 

Cartman looked up with that smile he’d adopted since becoming the substitute leader of the little cult. “Don’t worry about that, Kyle. You’re both capable, not like Butters. You’ll get a blessing no problem.” 

“Right.” 

“There are nets in the corner, grab them on your way out,” Cartman gestured over to the left behind Kyle. “You can start whenever, but I’d recommend the sooner the better. We have enough food to keep a bird alive for a couple of days.” 

Taking it as a dismissal, Kyle and Craig stood and headed to where the nets were, in a plastic box with gaps in the lid. Kyle presumed it was where they were meant to put the bird once they’d caught it. He picked up the box as Craig held the door open for him. 

The left the room and stood outside, staring at each other, with Kyle carrying the box that had nets in. 

“So...” the redhead started. “Catching a bird, huh?” 

Craig nodded. “Can’t be that hard. I’ll meet you in the carpark after lunch. If we do it today then that’s it done.” 

“Sounds good. I’ll bring the nets.” 

“Right.” 

He watched Craig leave, hands shoved into the pockets of his robes as he headed down the corridor, and Kyle turned to go to his room. 

The reality of the situation wasn’t one he wanted people to see him take in. Not when he knew what he was going to have to do. 

\--

They headed to the carpark. It was above their dwelling, a basement style place with a car park above it, abandoned and unused, caged up to prevent squatters from using it – though it also prevented them from getting out. They stood there each holding a net as they looked out across the array of options they had. The abandoned building had plenty of birds scattered about, picking at the floor and roosting on the concrete.

Craig huffed. “How the hell did Butters manage to not catch a pigeon?” 

“There are a lot of them,” Kyle agreed. “It can’t be that hard, right?” 

“They’re dumb, of course it can’t be that hard. You just gotta get the jump on them. They don’t really fly very far away.” 

Kyle gestured for the boy to go first. “Go on, then. Show me how it’s done.” 

Craig rolled up the sleeves of his robe and stepped forward. 

It turned out it wasn’t all that easy. 

He didn’t know how long they were out there, throwing nets at birds that would flutter just out their grasp, bobbing their heads as they ran along the concrete. He had to laugh as Craig got way too frustrated with them and tried to jump at one, only to land face first on the floor. 

He ended up having the net thrown at him in response, tangling him as he continued to laugh and gave a half-hearted attempt at escaping. 

After some time the pair of them were a little out of breath. Kyle stood, feeling more determined than he really needed to be, as Craig was sat cross legged on the floor with the net draped over his lap. 

“Maybe we should just give up,” Craig suggested in that dry tone. “Ask if we can use Butters again or something.” 

“I dunno, as tempting as it is, he might use one of us instead, and I don’t really fancy letting Cartman slit my wrist open.” 

“Just cause you’re a little squeamish around blood.” 

He froze at the accusation, turning to look down at the smirking face. “I’m not – I'm not squeamish.” 

“You sure?” 

“It just – seems a bit much. Killing a bird every time we want to drip a little blood into that weird, creepy rune he’s etched above the man’s head. We could just drain one and keep it to last a few days.” 

“I’m pretty sure the idea is that it’s still warm.” 

“Heat it up then.” 

Craig chuckled. “You don’t need to justify not liking blood to me, dude.” 

“You don’t know the chants!” Kyle accused, feeling defensive for no good reason. “I know the reason you picked to stand next to me is because I’m loud.” 

“Yeah, you are,” Craig shrugged it off. “When he convinced me to join this damn cult, he didn’t say I was gonna have to memorise shit.” 

“How did he convince you to join?”

Craig looked up with a raised brow.

“You know, if it was cult-y from the beginning?”

He shrugged. “Something to do with the holidays. Cornered me and Jason with some pamphlets, liked the idea of hanging out in an abandoned building for a few weeks. Beats sitting at home all summer. Go join some kind of unhinged scientist-magician guy. Until the fuckin’ camp leader decided to freeze himself in order to ascend and then Cartman took over.”

“Yeah, I was sold on the historical texts that he’d apparently found. And Stan says I’m going through my rebellious phase. He’s…not wrong, maybe.”

“So much for fuckin’ mad science, this is just mad.”

“At least it’s just till the end of summer, right?”

The look that Craig gave him made him think he was the only one out of the two of them that thought it would end then.

He jumped out his skin as the large door that lead to the basement opened, Craig falling onto his ass and letting out a low curse. When they turned to look there was a familiar blonde with a crooked smile coming through, pushing back his robe in order to shove his hands in his pockets.

“Thought this was gonna be easy, Tucker? Isn’t that what you said? Not more than half an hour?”

“Fuck off, McCormick.”

Kyle glanced between them both with a raised brow. “It’s not as easy as it looks.”

“Yeah, no kidding. I thought I’d come see if you managed to make it in the half hour. Apparently not.”

“Wait,” Kyle frowned at Kenny’s words. “How long have we been out here?”

“Thirty-five minutes?”

Craig let out one long, pitiful groan.

“You’re kidding me?!” Kyle dropped his net on the ground and threw his hands in the air. “We’ve only been at this half an hour?!”

Kenny was sure to laugh at their expense.

\--

They caught a bird. He was glad that it meant he wouldn’t have to do what Butters did. He was upset that it meant he was going to have to do what everyone else did instead.

They were there, dressed in their robes, watching Cartman go about his usual theatrics. Craig and Kyle stood at the front next to each other, waiting to be called.

Cartman flicked his knife. It splattered across to where Kyle normally stood.

He let out a shaky breath.

“Step forward, brothers.”

Craig moved first, and Kyle was quick to follow.

They each took a wing and began to pull. The cut that Cartman made helped a lot, but it still took some effort to physically pull it apart. He felt sick to his stomach when it started to go, the bones breaking apart.

He felt it, through his hand up his arm, blood dripping to the table the longer it took.

It broke. He stumbled back and ended up with more blood on his robes from the force.

They ascended the stairs and moved quickly. Craig had spoke to him beforehand, about how he didn’t want to waste time. Efficiency was best. Get up there, look him in the eye, and don’t look at the bird.

He got to the top and looked up to Craig, seeing the man already looking at him. There was a twitch of a smile, an attempt to comfort him. He appreciated the sentiment, even if it did nothing for his nerves.

He had to hold back physically being sick as he squeezed the bird in order to get the blood out.

Once they were finished Cartman completed the chants. Kyle was the first one out the door.

He rushed straight for the bathroom, not bothering to shut the door as he ran for the toilet. He fell to his knees and lurched over the bowl as his stomach gave up and saliva started to build.

He vomited.

The burning sensation brought tears to his eyes. He squeezed them shut as his fingers tightened round the bowl and he tried to block out the smell of bile from the toilet and blood on his robes.

A hand reached his back and he turned to look up.

Craig stood there, rubbing his back, brows pulled together. “I’ve got you.”

He had to look back into the bowl as another wave of nausea hit him.

He wasn’t sure how long they were there, but Cartman found them soon enough. He looked up as the man cleared his throat, feeling anger beginning to join the queasy sensation in his stomach and he tried to hold it back off his face. He didn’t think he did a very good job as he breathed through his nose, nostrils flaring.

“Your dedication to our cause has been proven,” Cartman decided. “It is an honour to have you on board, Kyle.” 

As he left Kyle turned to look up at Craig, unsure whether or not he was happy that Cartman had decided he was totally into this, or utterly disappointed.

He turned his head back to the bowl as another round of bile hit him. 

\--

Something about tearing a bird in two with someone and then having that someone rub your back while you vomited into your shared toilet brought you closer. He wasn’t sure he could pinpoint exactly which of the Annoying or Traumatic events that it was that made them friends, or if it was just...all of them at once. But Craig and Kyle took to spending a lot more time together. 

It helped probably that the person Craig spent a lot of time with, Jason, had started attending more secret meetings by Cartman’s side, while the person Kyle spent the most time with, Kenny, had started disappearing at random intervals without explaining what he was doing. 

“I’m just saying,” Kyle started as he leant in to speak low. “Butters has been acting real weird.”

Craig rolled his eyes. “You’re so not subtle, dude.”

“Whatever, Cartman isn’t here.”

“His cronies are though. This is why your suspicious.”

“Not anymore, apparently,” he grumbled as he glared at the mush on his tray, stirring it round. “I guess it’s a good thing.”

Craig leant in, face turning something serious as he glanced round. “I’ve been thinking...”

Kyle sucked in a breath as he prepared for whatever had Craig so on edge. 

“Maybe this thing is getting...a little weirder than I’m willing to sit through.”

“No, you’re right,” Kyle agreed. “Honestly, seeing Butters and listening to him talk about this greater glory? I don’t like it one bit.”

“I’m thinking of leaving.”

Kyle stopped short. “Can we?”

Craig grimaced. “I mean, officially? Yes. Unofficially? I don’t think so.”

“Cartman’s pretty controlling. It won’t be easy to get out.”

“Would you? Try get out with me?”

Kyle’s heart stuttered. 

“It doesn’t feel right ditching you.”

“Yeah,” Kyle admitted as his eyes scanned the other boy’s face. “Yeah, I’d try get out with you.”

A lopsided smile took over Craig’s face. “Cool.”

It was the last they spoke of it at dinner. 

Instead they needed to make their planning less in the open. They continued like normal, attending ceremonies and going about their duties, mopping the floor around the steadily melting prison their leader was in, stopping to stare up at him there, frozen in place. 

Kyle didn’t really have much faith for how alive he would be once he emerged. 

They spoke only in the hallways at night during their patrols, whispering and low, figuring out the best way to do it. At least together, they might have better luck. 

It was one of the patrols where they decided to execute their plan. He had everything he needed in his pockets under his robes. They’d agreed not to take much with them, so if they were stopped they could lie their way out of trouble it was hard to say you weren’t trying to escape if you had all your shit with you. 

Kyle wanted to talk to Kenny about it. He wanted to ask the blonde to come with them, and leave Cartman to finish playing out whatever the hell this was on his own. The more time that went passed the weirder this whole thing got. 

But Kenny went from being unavailable a lot to simply not around. 

Craig met him for their patrol one day, looking like it was just a normal day. But once Kyle left his room Craig asked him: “Do you have what you need?” 

“Today?” 

“Today.” 

Kyle fumbled with the words he wanted to say. “Can I...leave a note for Kenny?” 

"I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Craig muttered with a twisted face. “I’m sorry. You can, if you want, but...” 

“No, you’re right.” 

“I think he’ll know what happened, dude.” 

“True. C’mon then. Let’s go.” 

They started like any other day. He felt his senses alight with nerves as they wandered the halls, passing others who were out late heading back to their rooms. Cartman was out still, near his office with Butters and Pete, talking low to them. Craig pressed a hand against Kyle’s back. 

“Wait for them to finish speaking, then talk to Cartman. Drag it out longer.” 

“Do you know where he keeps the carpark key?” 

“Yeah, I do.” 

Kyle did as he was told. Craig had disappeared, sneaking into Cartman’s office to grab it. The redhead waited for the conversation to be winding down before he stepped forward, strained smile on his face as he approached them. 

He only had one question on his mind. 

“Hey, do you mind if I just...talk to you for a minute?” 

“Of course, brother. What’s been troubling you?” 

Kyle hesitated. Time hadn’t made him into a good liar. He was going to have to handle this carefully. Cartman knew his tells. 

Pete and Butters were close by, and Kyle dropped his voice so they couldn’t listen in. 

“It’s...Kenny,” Kyle admitted. “I haven’t seen him in a couple of days. I mean, I guess I haven’t really sought him out, but usually I feel like he’s constantly checking up on me. I just wanted to know if you’d seen him?” 

Cartman nodded his head as he brought a hand to his chin, smile on his face. “Fear not, Brother Kyle. I sent Kenny out to get supplies from town. He shouldn’t be gone too much longer. There was quite the list.” 

Kyle relaxed at the words. “Good, I’m glad.” 

“What did you think had happened to him?” 

He paused, frowning as he tilted his head and said as honestly as he could: “I didn’t really know. I wasn’t sure if he was sick or something.” 

“I have to say, I’m surprised he didn’t tell you anything before he left,” Cartman’s eyes narrowed a fraction. “He really didn’t say anything?” 

A direct question, or as direct as they got from Cartman. Kyle had a feeling that the brunette was fishing for something. “No, he didn’t. Typical Kenny.” 

“Well, don’t worry. He’s fine.” 

“Thanks, dude. I shouldn’t ditch Craig for too long. He’s waiting for me.” 

“Of course! Enjoy your patrol.” 

“Later, Cartman.” 

He jogged down the hall, turning at the last minute to look over his shoulder and see Cartman had returned to Pete and Butters, fingers pressed to his temple as Butters spoke with animated hand gestures. 

Pete looked to where he stood. Kyle disappeared. 

\--

“Got it,” Craig withdrew the key, smirk on his face as he looked down at Kyle. “Time to bust this joint.” 

Kyle grinned up at him. “Perfect. Let’s go. I want to get out of here asap.” 

“Talk with Cartman didn’t go well?” 

“No, I just...I have a bad feeling,” he admitted. 

“Let’s go, then.” 

They avoided where they knew Cartman, Butters, and Pete were. Instead they headed down the unused halls, dark and poorly lit. It was a longer route to the carpark, but it was better than having to explain their skulking. 

There was someone else who liked to use the unused halls that he never really considered until he saw them in the hallway. 

He stopped short at the sight of them. 

There was a body, slumped against the wall in a pool of blood, a large gash through their middle and left arm. In one hand he had a gun, withdrawn but unused, if the state of his body was anything to go by. Blonde hair was matted, robe torn, though there was enough material it hid the worst of the gash. 

It was the blood on the floor that really gave it away. 

After a few moments of standing there, taking in the image before them, Kyle’s brain finally registered something: that was a dead body. 

As he stepped closer, feeling dread begin to creep in as he registered he already knew that shade of blonde, and he already knew those hands, his brain registered something else: 

“Holy shit,” Kyle breathed. “It’s Kenny.”

“We need to get the fuck out of here, like, right now,” Craig decided as he grabbed Kyle’s arm. “Let’s go.”

They picked up speed and began to run. Through the decrepit hallways and towards the parking lot, where they would attempt to make their escape. They planned to climb the fence that surrounded the place, escaping over the top under the shroud of night, and then walking into town. 

But Kenny wouldn’t be the first person they would run into. As they got closer to the carpark, joining up with the main halls, they turned a corner to see someone shuffling much like a zombie in the same direction they needed to be in. 

Craig pressed a hand to Kyle’s chest to hold him back, and when the redhead looked up he saw that the grey eyes had blown wide, jaw clenched as he pointed towards something in the boy’s hand. 

The person was carrying an axe. 

“Oh my god,” Kyle breathed. “He killed Kenny.” 

“Bastard,” Craig grit out. “He’s in our way.” 

“We have to confront him. We can’t get out with him there.” 

“It’s...” 

He turned to see Craig’s face twist in pain. 

“It’s Jason.” 

They were speaking loud enough that their voices carried over to the boy, who turned to face them, and Kyle registered with enough light on his face that Craig was right. 

“Jason?!” Kyle took a step forward, eyes drawn to the axe in the boy’s hand. “Is that...did you kill Kenny?”

“He’s not dead,” Jason sobbed. “He’s not – he was still breathing when I left him.”

“Dude, why the fuck did you kill Kenny?! You bastard!”

“He made me do it! He told me I – I needed to prove my faith to the Father, if I wanted to be able to ascend, but...I don’t want to ascend. Not if I have to hurt someone to do it.”

Before he had a chance to ask anything else Craig grabbed his arm and yanked him back, face cold as he looked down the way they came. Kyle followed his gaze to see... 

Cartman, flanked by Butters and Pete, storming through the corridor. 

Kyle looked back at Jason to see the kid staring at the ceiling, lost in his own thoughts. 

Cartman reached them with a look of fury on his face, but Kyle held a finger to his lips and pointed forward to where Jason stood. 

The trio turned to see him, and Cartman clicked his fingers. Butters and Pete moved swiftly as the reached their friend and wrestled the axe out his hand and tried to detain him. 

“We thought we saw something suspicious on our patrol,” Kyle explained to the boy leading them. “I dunno if he’s hurt someone, or if it’s just from a pigeon. I didn’t want to get too close. What, with that blood.”

“I understand, Kyle,” Cartman replied. “I know of your weak stomach. A trait in your people, maybe?”

“Sure.”

Cartman gestured for the two lackeys who had managed to subdue Jason. “Bring him to my office. I’ll deal with him.”

Kyle stared on in horror as Butters and Pete took Jason by the arms, dragging him back towards the little camp they had set up. Cartman turned to him and Craig with that dumbass smile on his face as he began to address them. 

“Brothers. Kyle, Craig. Congratulations for stopping Jason before he made a grave mistake. I hate the idea of one of our own doing something they might regret.” 

The two of them stood in silence, not quite sure how to respond. 

“I am pleased that I have people here I can trust,” Cartman placed a hand on each of their shoulders, looking up at them and squeezing lightly. “I best go help Jason see the error of his ways. I’ll see you both later, and arrange a thank you gift.” 

He turned and began to head back down the hallway where Pete and Butters had disappeared to. 

Kyle hesitated, glancing up at Craig as he asked: “Should we...go stop him? What the fuck are they going to do to Jason?” 

“No, we shouldn’t, we should get the fuck out of dodge and go get the police,” Craig decided as he watched their pseudo leader leave. “Fuck _that_.” 

They continued down the hall, picking up speed as they actively had to stop themselves running. Once they were out into the carpark it was hard to stop. 

Kyle’s legs picked up with the energy running through him and a desperate need to get out. 

He ran at the fence and made quick work of the first half, cursing as he reached the top to the barbed wire. Craig joined him hopped over, ignoring the wire completely. 

As the dark haired teen made it to the other side he swore low and grasped the fence on the other side as he nearly fell. “Shit, it got me.” 

“It’s gonna get you,” Kyle agreed. “But better that than fucking Jason.” 

He did his best to do it as quickly and carefully as he could. It caught his arm, tearing through the many layers that made up their robes and nicking at his skin, causing him to fumble and get his knee too. 

By the time he was at the other side his robe was still attached, and he decided to just drop down the rest of the way to try and untangle it quickly. 

Half his sleeve ended up dangling from the wire fence. 

“C’mon, are you okay?” Craig asked as he grabbed Kyle’s arm. “We have to keep moving.” 

“I’m fine, it’s nothing major. Are you?” 

“My shoulder, so whatever. So long as it didn’t get anywhere bad.” 

“I think I’m more worried about how dirty it’ll be.” 

“Worry about it later.” 

They took off into a run. 

After some time, when his chest was burning and his legs ached, the cut beginning to throb from the strain, he suggested they slowed down. Craig didn’t put up a fight, and judging from the way his first response to ‘slow down’ was to come to a stop and rest his hands on his knees, panting at the ground, Kyle judged that maybe he was slightly more fitter of the two. 

“Are you alright?” Kyle asked, placing a hand on Craig’s back and rubbing circles. 

“I’ll be fine,” Craig heaved as he stood up. “Jesus, I’m not used to running like that.” 

Kyle chuckled. “We probably don’t need to keep running. We’re maybe a half hour walk from here? Maybe a bit longer?” 

“We can do that.” 

“Yeah, we can.” 

“Stay close,” Craig advised. “Just in case we need to hide.” 

“I think dealing with Jason should keep them busy.” 

“What was he even doing out there, with a bloody axe?” Craig snarled. “Fuckin’, lost his mind or something.” 

Kyle furrowed his brows as he tried to think, but... 

He couldn’t pinpoint having seen what had happened. 

They continued to walk. They stopped only to check on their wounds, tearing the already broken robes into strips to try make some kind of substitute bandage. Kyle helped Craig with his, bare chested in the cold air as Kyle wrapped cloth around his shoulder. 

He was all too eager to keep walking once he was done to warm up. Kyle was all too eager to stick close. 

By the time they made it into town he was tired. Tired, hungry, and in pain. He held onto Craig’s hand, who was sticking close to him as he dragged them towards the police station. 

They ended up in a car as they instructed the officers where to go. They were met by an ambulance outside as the police raided the old building. 

\--

He sat on the curb, blanket round his shoulders and hot chocolate in his hands as he watched the police raid the place, bringing people out one by one to head to the little medical set up that the ambulances had created, checking each of them over in turn. 

“What do you think they’re gonna do with Father Jeremiah?” Kyle asked. 

“Dude, Father Jeremiah is fucking dead,” Craig scoffed. “Asshole froze himself in a block of ice.” 

“Yeah. Probably.” 

“I wanna know what’s gonna happen to Cartman. Also, I haven’t seen Jason come out yet. Maybe they broke his legs.” 

“Dude.” 

“What?” Craig shrugged as he looked down to the cup in his hands he was swirling around. “Just curious.” 

Kyle couldn’t help it. He didn’t know if it was the relief that the whole thing was finally over, or just the way Craig sat there pouting about the fact Kyle had scolded him, but he started to laugh. A low snigger that got louder, bringing his hand to his mouth to try and keep the noise down and not alert the police and medical staff that he was going a little hysterical. 

But Craig was next to him, laughing as well, wide smile on his face as their shoulders bumped together and they leant into each other. 

“Cartman’s gonna be so pissed at us,” Kyle mused as his laughter died down, though there was still a tremor in his voice and a smile on his face. “Depending on how much trouble he’s in.”

“Fuck him, when he’s not got a little group of brainwashed morons to stick on people who oppose him, he’s not that terrifying. I bet you could take him.” 

“Probably.” 

Craig bumped their shoulders and Kyle leant his weight against the taller boy. “Nice cover, by the way. The thing with Jason.” 

“Kenny’s been trying to teach me to lie.” 

“You’re getting better.” 

“Thanks,” Kyle looked up with a smile, seeing Craig’s eyes already on him. “Good call getting out and getting the police.” 

“It was just sensible.” 

“Yeah, I guess.” 

They continued to watch as the others who had been conned into Cartman’s game were escorted out. He noted that Kenny wasn’t amongst them. He wondered if the reason that he hadn’t seen the blonde in a couple of days was because he’d already got out. 

The answer came to him as a new car pulled up near them, one he recognised. He was on his feet in an instant as he rushed forward towards the farm’s truck, grin on his face as his best friend dropped out and ran at him. 

He stumbled as Stan collided with him and wrapped him in a tight hug, a bark of laughter leaving the redhead’s throat. 

“Dude, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Stan said into Kyle’s neck. “When Kenny rang me from his house and said that shit had hit the fan I was so scared.”

“Kenny rang you?” 

“Yeah, he said he’d just got home. Then when I saw the police cars, I was so worried something had happened. I didn’t wanna just ditch you, though.” 

“I’m fine,” Kyle promised as he rubbed Stan’s back. “Thanks for coming to get us.”

“Sure, of course,” Stan finally pulled back from the hug and stretched a hand out to Craig. “Craig, right? You’re in our year?”

“Yeah,” Craig nodded as he shook the hand offered. “That’s me.”

“I’ll give you both a lift, no worries. News is probably gonna hit the TV soon.”

Kyle groaned as he realised that meant his mother would soon learn the media’s version of the summer project Cartman had dragged him into. “Great. We better get back so I can tell my parents before the news anchor does.”

The drive back was easy. He received a text from Kenny to confirm he was okay, and managed to summon the energy to respond before he started to fall asleep. Before long he was resting against the person next to him. Eyes fluttering as he tried to stay awake despite the soft sound of Stan’s music coming through the speakers. 

It was the feeling of Craig’s head hitting the top of his that really lulled him into dreamland, the other boy’s soft breathing all he could focus in on, back of their hands grazing as the allowed themselves time to rest. 


End file.
